Almost X-Rated

Whew. you think I was embarrassed about going to see Twilight? Just you wait! If you are the parent of a child of tender age, and you let him or her read this post, you will have a lot of explaining to do. If you are a child of tender years, go do your homework.

I have been invited to a sex toy party. Hey, I always thought I was the sex toy. Not so, it seems. I was invited to this party, and I pondered on that old philosophical question, “What does it mean that I’m the type of person who's invited to a sex toy party?” I wondered how to decide if I should attend or not. I mean, if you show up, people will know.  On the other hand, I don’t want people to think I’m too snooty to attend or that I think I'm above good, dirty fun.  On the other hand, I don’t want everyone to think I’m the kind of person who has lascivious thoughts. Well, I’ve been married 40-odd years and have two grown children, so I guess that ship’s sailed.

I was invited to this party and, because the hostess is too self-conscious herself to invite many of the people she knows, I was asked to bring a friend. Do you know how difficult it is to decide which of your friends would be appropriate to ask to join you for such a shindig? I told my friend there would be good snacks; that’s the only reason we’re going.

Truth to tell, I went to a sex toy party back around 1990. After 22 years, I figure an acceptable amount of time has elapsed for me to attend another one. At the end of that party, I crept into presence of the discrete saleslady in the privacy of the secret back room and could work up only enough courage to buy eye glitter.

Now I’m older and wiser so I’m not telling you what I’m buying this time.