Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Half-way there. Really

I've been sick. I've been sick for a week and a half. It's not a sneezing cold, nor a nauseous tummy ache. It's been weird. In the mornings and nights, there's the growly cough  that hurts my lungs and makes my throat horribly sore.  My skin's clammy.  The most interesting symptom has been the detached, airy disjointed thinking. (I can't tell you how many mistakes I've made in the past 10 days.) (No, really, I can't begin to remember.) It's rather like the aftermath of being high. I haven't had the energy to do much.  I finally made it to a dance class yesterday but had to leave early from exhaustion.
Each day when I complete any necessary tasks, I sit.  I sit and watch TV. While waiting at the store today, I watched the pattern of the lights on the ceiling.  I've been very eaily amused.  The other day we joined forces for dinner with the neighborsas we often do. Steve was sautéing scallops and Cynthia was doing something beautiful to chicken thighs after sharing with us the ends of a Julia Child thing involving crab and cream. They were in the kitchen, and I sat in the living room, eyes closed, while the aroma rose as good as the feast itself and listened to the subdued voices of comradery and parenting. In my half-fevered state (I know, I know, I had no business being there), I was filled with an inner sense of well-being, of perfect balance. All the pieces were in place. In a very happy way, I felt like I could dissolve and die. (Don't be silly; I don't want to die. I just felt amazingly right.)
Today I had a scheduled appointment with my doctor for a medications check-up. She looked me over and listened to my lungs and wrote me a prescription for a Z-pack. I took the first dose right in Costco realizing, even in my zoned state, that it would be safest to get back in my right mind since I was driving. I haven't felt the effects yet and am spending one more day in front of the TV, enjoying the buzz.

I look forward to tomorrow. I will like being able to think straight again and having my energy back. But now, excuse me while I half nap in the club chair.

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